This week I read a very interesting interview about Prince Harry. He speaks about how he had shut down his feelings after his mom died when he was 12 years old. We all remember the scandalous headlines about him in his twenties and beyond. He opened up now in his latest interview about how lost he had been during this time and how he had never allowed himself to be sad about his mom’s death. He thought, being sad and thinking of her wouldn’t bring her back anyway.
As sad as it is…it is true, but still our body and mind need to grief in order to process our feelings. Emotions come with motions (as the word says e-motion) and they need their outlet. If they don’t have one they will keep boiling inside. We can live like that for a while, because we will have the perfect inner managers in line, who will distract us constantly, so we won’t even come near our sad feelings. Distracting with things such as work, parties, excessive sports, alcohol, drugs and so on. In extremis we will feel like a stranger to us.
Doesn’t Prince Harry’s former scandalous headlines start to make sense now…? His “bad boy series of acts” were distractions from his tucked away feelings that were constantly pulsating inside of him. He mentioned in his interview that at some point he did not know himself anymore and often felt like he was close to a total break down. Our inner managers can run this show for quite a while, especially when we are young, but even then after a while we will get very exhausted and this can lead us in worst case to a total break down.
Prince Harry was lucky having his brother on his side convincing him to get help. He says he had started to work with a psychologist two years ago and admitted that talking about his feelings and facing his past wasn’t first easy, but crucial to find himself again. With relief he said, he went through a total change within those two years and he is back now to feeling strong, balanced and happy again. Embracing his life story and the change he had been through became his new mission talking about his experience. His goal is to motivate others not to be afraid of talking about their feelings and getting professional help, if necessary.
We are all human beings we are made out of a variety of feelings, which makes us so precious, but we still think it as a weakness embracing our sensitive side. For many it is hard to believe that the opposite is the truth that Feeling actually will make us stronger and therefore balanced and happy in life. As Prince Harry’s story tells us. If only we want it to be. It’s all on us.
Thank you for reminding us Prince Harry. Especially coming from this bad boy image. It is such an eye opener again and such a crucial topic. Your best example will make a big difference in other people’s life. And in a way it did bring your mom back.
I had to comment on his interview, he is such a helpful example for our society. It shows how many people struggle and how our behavior tells our story. No wonder Prince Harry was acting out when he wasn’t processing the feelings about his mom’s death. We all have cracks in our heart from something we had to go through in our life. It is not about to make those cracks disappear, because it is impossible, it is about letting life come back through those cracks. We cannot change our life story but we can make the best of it by accepting it. It takes time, feeling is healing and happiness comes from being balanced, but we can only find our balance, if we allow ourselves to swing in both directions – good and bad feelings – the combo of it will bring us relief.
We need many more people like Prince Harry in our society. We connect on the level where we share our struggles and are honest with each other not on the level of pretending “everything is great”, like in a Christmas Letter where people often only list the superlatives of their year – but maybe they want to take a break from reality.
Embrace reality, it makes us human and life good!