When we go through difficult times in our life, we all know the first few seconds when we wake up in the morning and feel carefree…and all of the sudden a big memory wave brings back our reality. All we want to do at this point is turning around and falling back asleep away from any thoughts, fears and memories.
Getting our head back up needs power, but where is this power supposed to come from?
I like to look at life as a card game. The cards we hold in our hands are the ones that symbolize our life, some cards are interchangeable means we have control over things and others aren’t – means we have no control – it is what it is. Some are good cards and some not so much. It is a mix, but it still gives us the possibility to play our best game possible. We just need to keep our eyes on all cards and not just focus on one.
There is a wonderful experiment I read about a couple years ago: A professor sends a participant into a room and says. “Make a list of all blue colored things you see in there.” The participant went into the room and made his list. When he came back he handed it to the professor. The professor took a look, nodded and said. “Well done you got all of them.” Then he said. “Let me ask you another question, do you remember any orange colored things in the room?” The participant looked puzzled and said. “Orange things? No, I cannot remember seeing any orange things.” The professor said. “Ok let’s go back and have a look together.” He opened up the room and the participant looked around and couldn’t believe it. The room was filled with orange colored things, which by far outnumbered the blue colored ones. He was stunned. The professor looked at him and said. “This shows us how often we miss out on the beautiful things in life that are right in front of us, because our brain focuses too much on one thing in particular.”
I love this experiment it is so true. Along our 7 year fertility journey I remember having mornings waking up and being totally swamped by our wave. Looking at my ‘other cards in life’ or at the other ‘colors in the room’ gave me the power to get up. Cards such as my loving relationship with my husband which became deeper and deeper going through this together, my health and the health of my loved ones, my work which I always loved getting up for and of course my family and friends. Those positive cards gave me the power to take a shower, put some make up on and start the day with a smile on my face even when I wasn’t in the mood.
Not to forget the little things in life that are most powerful. When we are in a vulnerable place we find comfort in very little things, which is the beauty of vulnerability. Such as indulging our five senses. Treating ourselves with the things we love to do, we love to listen to or we love to taste and see. Taking time for a coffee in my favorite Café, doing yoga, being around friends, getting a massage or just going for a run in nature. Those are things that give me energy and space. It sounds little but the outcome is big.
Being around family and friends is probably the most powerful card. I don’t know what I would have done without them. It is for sure not easy for them either to always be our best support. However there is nothing worse than opening up to someone and not being heard and seen. It’s important to figure out who is a good match and who isn’t so much during tough times. I will go more in depth in my next blog, because that is a very important chapter by itself.
For now – Today is about keeping an eye on all cards we are holding in our hands. Shift your focus to the good cards and you will wonder how much joy life still has in store for you. Joy that brings new energy and power into your life.
Take a look. I am excited for you.
Take care! Have a great start into the week!